I am answering a call to arms. My virtual friend, Mimi, suffered a put down from a food snob and has asked that we show our solidarity by cooking something with Bisquick. I’ve got nothing against Bisquick. I remember my mother using Bisquick for biscuits, and pancakes and strawberry shortcake, for sure. She may have used it in other things. I went to my friend Heather’s house not too long ago and she was worried that her Bisquick dumplings weren’t elegant enough food for us. Pshaw. Heather is an awesome cook. She made us something that was a nostalgia food for her: a stew made with browned hamburger, a can of vegetable soup and some sour cream, topped with Bisquick biscuit dumplings. She called it hamburger stroganoff. Erik made some jokes about the name, something about stroke, but we both agreed the stew was great. And we ate seconds. Erik probably had thirds. It didn’t hurt that she used high quality beef and I think the soup was organic, but it was the dumplings that made it such a success. I hope she makes it for us again.

Remember in the 80s, when real men didn’t eat quiche? I’m glad that my father didn’t have issues with his masculinity, because I’ve always really liked it. My mother had this recipe for a no crust quiche that we ate fairly often. You just zip all of the ingredients together in a blender and pour the liquid over your filling. As you’ll see below, the directions are three sentences long. That’s it. Easier than pie. I don’t know if my mother likes this recipe more for how easy it is or for how clever it is. In any case, our mothers should not be derided for their use of easy recipes and semi-homemade food, I don’t care how much you want to diss Sandra Lee. Our mothers were working goddammit.

The quiche I’ve made has spinach and caramelized onions and garlic and I didn’t have any meat or fish to add in, so I skipped that part of the recipe. And I reduced the amount of butter (sorry mother, I couldn’t do 6 tablespoons). And I couldn’t find Bisquick at the little store we go to on the way home from work tonight, so I called Heather. She still had some of her off brand of Bisquick, “Morning Gold Baking Mix All Purpose,” which sounds a little like engrish to me. She bought it at Aldi — we go there too, for the coffee especially. This stuff is even less snobby than Bisquick. We were going to eat it with a piss-elegant “simple green salad” but the lettuce was bad and I had already made the vinaigrette, so we chopped up a variety of vegetables instead, shallots, radishes, carrots, tomatoes, scallions, red pepper, most everything we had in the crisper bin of the refrigerator. There are endless possible variations for quiche. Now that I have revived the recipe, I’m going to clean some things out the rest of my fridge and cupboards to get ready for spring and put them into this quiche. I’m thinking roasted red pepper and goat cheese, ham and asparagus and saut?ed shallots and mushrooms. Maybe some leeks in there somewhere, unless you all think that’s too snooty.

All in one quiche

• 1/2 cup half and half
• 3 T butter, room temperature
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 cup Bisquick mix
• Pinch of salt
• 1 cup diced meat or fish
• 1 cup vegetables, chopped
• 1 cup grated cheese

Combine first five ingredients into blender. Put remaining ingredients in buttered pie plate and pour liquid over all. Bake 45 minutes at 350 or until golden brown.