
French toast is not French. I just needed to get that out of the way at the beginning, since that’s the recipe you’ll find below and the rest of this post is going to be a mish mash of family history and a small glimpse of the U S of A from the perspective of three French children. I’ll also tell you a little about our trip up north as they say here in Michigan, and because this site is about food, I’ll try to get around to telling you about some of the things we ate. In my last entry, I described my brother Ken as a shaggy dog story teller. I’m afraid that one might come back to haunt me with what follows.

I’m from one of those families where the door is always open, there’s always more room at the dinner table and a few extra people around was never a problem. This is how my parents ended up with three French women in their 20s staying with them in the summer of 1989. They were part of a group who had been lured to the states by a publishing company (whose name I won’t divulge) with promises of fast cash and fun in America. What they got was a cultish experience and virtually no greenbacks. And no place to stay. Can you believe they were told they could get a cheap room at the Salvation Army in downtown Detroit and survive on peanut butter? Friends of friends told them to knock on our door and they did and they stayed for three or four months. Laurence was one of them and the only one who has stayed in touch. That summer of ‘89, my mom advised ditching door-to-door book selling and found Laurence a job working (under the *cough* table) as a hostess in the fanciest restaurant in town. I was away for the better part of that summer, playing nanny for a friend, so I was there for only about a month of the French girl circus (which is a good thing, because they were in my bedroom). One of my memories of Laurence was that she had only one nice outfit that she fastidiously cleaned every day after work and put on again the next day. She must have confirmed all sorts of stereotypes her colleagues had about the French.
We’ve seen her on trips to Paris, but this summer she came back to visit for the first time and brought along her three children, Jean, Louis and Marie. I was once again reminded that I really wouldn’t mind having a child if it could be a French one. They help in the kitchen! They eat everything! They stay at the dinner table for hours with no complaints! They sit up straight - well, especially with their mother poking them in the back to remind them not to slouch over, I guess I’d have to be a French mother to have French children.

These kids were liking the soda and the beach and the big cars, but had lots of questions and some negative reactions. These are my favorites. On entering the house through the screened in porch Jean asked me, "Why all the screens on all the windows? Are there lots of bugs everywhere here? Don’t you get claustrophobic?"

At lunch after a crab salad stuffed tomato on Boston lettuce, Louis asked, "Can I help bring out the next course?" Poor boy, he thought that was just the starter and was expecting a roast and potatoes and then green salad and cheese and some sort of dessert. All he got were cookies and peaches.

Marie’s astonishment at not being understood by my nieces was charming, "They don’t know what babyfoot is? These Americans are crazy." I explained that while babyfoot is indeed a combination of two words in English, it is used in French to designate the game that here we call foosball. Hand smacks forehead.
Other highlights of the French monkeys include the following. Louis confided to me that he abhors smoothies. Jean’s zizi was hanging out of his bathing suit and Marie wouldn’t keep her suit on. She also complained about the fat on my arms.

Because Laurence and her brood lived for a time in England, they have good English skills, but not perfect. The biggest blooper of the weekend was when she asked my seven year old niece, "Jessica, give me a French kiss." You should have seen the look on that kid’s face. This obviously led to discussion of all of the things we call "French" here in the U.S., like French dressing, French fries, Frenched green beans and lamb chops, and Sunday’s breakfast, French toast. There’s a similar preparation in France, called pain perdu (lost bread, because you usually make it with the stale leftovers, this can sometimes be prepared like bread pudding as well). Laurence and her kids had never eaten it. "It’s peasant food," Laurence told us.

This is my niece, Jessica. After breakfast, we had a short rain storm and she’s pictured here belting out her rendition of singin’ in the rain. She was recently diagnosed with an allergy to eggs. It’s taken years for her parents to figure out why she was not interested in eating and why she’s in the smaller end of normal for her age. She seems to be thriving on her new egg-free diet. We’re trying to make meals with no eggs and that’s an awfully tall order for Sunday breakfast. I happened on a vegan recipe for French toast with a banana to replace the egg and thought we’d give it a try (I don’t remember where I read about it or I’d cite the source). The vegan recipe used soy milk instead of cow’s milk, so if you swing that way, feel free to make that substitution. If you like the flavor of bananas, you’ll love this one. We ate every last crumb. I’m left with a question. If there’s no egg, is it still French toast? Erik calls it monkey toast.

monkey toast (eggless French toast)
- 1 loaf white bread, sliced
- 1 banana
- 1 cup milk or half & half
- 1 t vanilla
- optional (and truly not French): a pinch of cinnamon or other flavoring of choice
- butter or cooking spray
Place banana, milk or half & half, vanilla and optional flavoring (if using) into a blender and mix until smooth. Place mixture in a shallow bowl. Heat skillet over medium-low. Place a small pat of butter in the middle of skillet or spray skillet with cooking spray. Take one piece of bread and soak it in the milk mixture, then put it in the skillet. Repeat with as many slices of bread as will fit in your skillet at one time. Cook until bottom of bread is golden brown, flip and brown the other side. You can put the finished slices on a platter tented with aluminum foil while cooking the rest, or dish them out to your monkeys as they are ready. Serve with butter and maple syrup.
P.S. We have my best friend Nancy to thank for opening her family lake house up to us for four days of swimming, boating, eating and general whooping it up. If you’d like to see more photos of our trip, they’re over here.
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